NO PERSONAL VOLITION "... you will be taught to fly..." "...you strip naked..." July 8, 2019

THE MOST TOTAL SURRENDER
IS NOT
A MATTER OF ASKING FOR HELP...
...BUT RATHER
A REALIZATION OF TRUTH OF BEING SUFFICES
< 
ALL IS ADDED UNTO
 (OR REMOVED)
 THAT IS REQUIRED
FOR TRUTH OF BEING’S CLARITY
𝛑 ∞ 𝛑
WHAT IS REQUIRED MUST BE
THE EFFORTLESS EASE DOING
(COMPARABLE WITH BREATH AND SLEEP)
NO PERSONAL VOLITION IS POSSIBLE
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1:48 AM-7/8/19

You get there by realizing you are already there.
 ~ Elkhart Tolle 

When you come to the edge of all the light you have known,
and are about to step out into darkness,
faith is knowing one of two things will happen;
there will be something to stand on,
​or you will be taught to fly..

--Richard Bach,
Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Awakenings feel like our heart is breaking
and being pieced back together again at the same time.
It feels like all the parts of ourselves are at war
and they are inviting us to come along for the ride.
It feels like we are caught between this person we say we want to be
and the person we are right now (who is a complete mess!).
It can feel wretched one minute and like we are on cloud nine the next.

Sometimes, it just feels sloooooooow.
And then, in the middle of the awakening,
something happens.
A flash of a fresh perspective that shifts the entire world on its axis,
a rush of love to the heart
that makes us grab our chest and catch our breath,
someone telling us that we matter,
an old wound that finally, finally heals.
Something releases.
Something surrenders.

There is a softening where there was once a hard place.
There are moments that feel like we are being hit by a ton of bricks
and knocked over by a feather at the same time.
Awakenings tear us open.
They expose all the yucky stuff,
the shameful stuff, the secrets,
the dreams that were never given a voice,
the relationships that imprison us,
the words left unsaid.

Awakenings are a mirror we can’t turn away from,
even in our ugliest,
most tattered gown. 
The truth of who we are is not
in how well we can contort ourselves into
who the world says we are allowed to be.

The truth of who we are is
when we stop contorting.
When we stop making excuses.
When we stop lying to ourselves
that we are satisfied when we are not.
When we stop believing
that all the beautiful experiences in life
are reserved for other people.

Awakenings allow us to realize all the ways
​ we make ourselves small.
All the ways we try to fit ourselves into other people’s rules,
limitations, and beliefs.
 All the ways we have rejected ourselves
and not honored our own wisdom.

We change when we realize that there must be another way.
When our inner truth is so loud
that we can’t find any more excuses or distractions
​ to turn the volume down.
We must answer the call. We owe it to ourselves.
~Elizabeth Gordon

Become like melting snow; wash yourself of yourself.
With love your inner voice will find a atongue
growing like a silent white lily in the heart.
Rumi

AFTERNOON

In every breath

​in every breath
if you’re the center
of your own desires
you’ll lose the grace
of your beloved

but if in every breath
you blow away
your self claim
the ecstasy of love
will soon arrive

in every breath
if you’re the center
of your own thoughts
the sadness of autumn
will fall on you

but if in every breath
you strip naked
just like a winter
the joy of spring
will grow from within

all your impatience
comes from the push
for gain of patience
let go of the effort
and peace will arrive

all your unfulfilled desires
are from your greed
for gain of fulfillments
let go of them all
and they will be sent as gifts

fall in love with
the agony of love
not the ecstasy
then the beloved
will fall in love with you
Rumi
Translation by Nader Khalili
“Rumi, Fountain of Fire”
Cal-Earth Press, 1994